Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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