Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
