I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't deserve a penis
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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