They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
