The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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