Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
