is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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