This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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