Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
