Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Randomize
