dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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