So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
