i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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