If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize