sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
