i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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