Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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