I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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