I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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