Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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