it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
