Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
