There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
