you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
