she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
