I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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