you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
