She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
