So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
