Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm both gender and math confused
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
