when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
