he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
