So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize