I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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