The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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