i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Do vagina's smell?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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