Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
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