Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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