My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
