Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
