I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
