I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
