Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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