The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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