Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
