I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
