I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
