A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
