we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think your dad took our porno
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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