oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
