Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
