I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
