But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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