Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
