the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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