The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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