He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You're a disaster
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